I woke up this morning a little annoyed because I heard my children bickering over chocolate milk. That’s a typical morning when you have young kids. I was also annoyed because I only managed to get about three hours of sleep because I wanted to see Georgia flip the Senate. I checked the news and saw Jon Ossoff trending up, the projected winner alongside Rev. Warnock. I was overjoyed. Today was going to be a good day and maybe I could sneak in a lunchtime nap to recover.
The excitement of calling Mitch McConnell the Senate Minority Leader and the celebration of Stacy Abrams turning Georgia upside down was quickly washed away as I watched the news in horror. I turned the sound down to the lowest level that would allow me to hear breaking news without disturbing my children that were having their afternoon break.
Around 2:30, Hayden had his “restroom break” from Zoom before finishing the day with Social Studies. He always likes to pop in and see how I’m doing because he is a sweet little boy that has empathy for everyone. I tried to hide my face that was red and puffy from tears but he noticed. Then he noticed the mob on the news. I lied and told him it was fine. Don’t worry. Do you want some applesauce before you jump back into your meeting? But Hayden is intelligent. He asked what was happening and I told him we would discuss it this evening when I knew a little bit more.
My kids know about 9/11. We talked about it at great length on the anniversary just months ago. I told them it was scary for me, even as a teenager. Because of that, they know what a terrorist attack is. I have also always been open and honest with them about what is happening in the world, how voting works, the electoral college and the pandemic. It is only right to be honest with your kids, but in a way that does not traumatize them. And that’s not always an easy task.
Tonight I had to talk to him about the terrorist attack today on the Capitol. How it was for me, an adult, that has watched school shootings and 9/11 live, scared shitless. A woman in her 30’s that has lived through unbelievable trauma. I had to delicately tell my 10 year old that the President of the United States has incited violence and when asked to condemn, only fueled the fire more. A person died today and several were injured. The Capitol Building, a place I toured joyfully when I was only three years old than he is now, was desecrated. And over what? Baseless claims of a fraudulent election. What we saw today as Americans can never be unseen. We can’t always shield our children from the horror we watched live today, or what will happen in the future. I’m scared to even watch the Inauguration, something I have never missed since Bush Jr.
This nation is broken. This nation will never heal while we enable white supremacy and dictatorship. I’m tired of trying to dance around what is happening to protect my children while still making sure they stay informed. I’m tired of robbing our children of a happy childhood because our leaders are worthless. Do better. Quit enabling shitty leaders and fix this mess.