I woke up this morning with a stomachache. This is not all that uncommon as I suffer from chronic heartburn and indigestion. I made breakfast and retreated to the couch without a plate of the pancakes I just made because of the aforementioned stomachache. I was puzzled by what could’ve caused it because I was careful about what I consumed the night before. “Maybe it’s just stress” was all my husband could guess.
That suggestion reminded me of something I thought about last night as I was trying to fall asleep. What if we all came with warning labels when we meet new people? Of course we learn about certain things on a first date or as we get to know our potential life-long friends. But we usually don’t see the deeper things that only our therapists know or we trap deep inside our minds.
“Be careful with this one. She experienced more trauma before her tenth birthday than most normal adults experience throughout their life. She also has sky high anxiety that has caused permanent damage to her stomach.” Would you want to befriend or date that person? Marry that person? Because my label would say that. I wonder if I’d even make it to a first date if the interested party read “has BPD and abandonment issues.”
I can’t decide if it would be good or bad. Sure, it would save us a lot of heartache when someone learns your deep dark truths and can’t handle it. But what life lessons would we learn without a little heartache? Yet, if someone sees what sits beneath the surface, they could decide if you’re worth pursuing anyway — and that’s how we know this person is meant to be in your life. We could all just be happier and have healthy relationships and friendships. Maybe we could all come with a 30 second teaser trailer showing all the good and bad.
What would your warning label say?
I should really take a nap now.