When we first met, I was unavailable in every sense of the word. Unhappy, unable to experience romantic love and a broken shell of a once strong woman.
I worked on myself, but I was not ready when I saw you again in May, despite how many times I tried to get your attention that day.
I thought of you while packing my clothes for the week-long business trip we would both be on. While my confidence was still so low, I couldn’t help but try on every sundress I had in my closet. I packed makeup and I hate wearing makeup. I got a fresh haircut that was out of my comfort zone. I woke up early every morning to make myself look as cute as I could while wearing what looked like a bowling shirt and my beat up yet still comfy pair of chucks.
I found any excuse I could to make small talk or awkwardly flirt. I still don’t think you ever caught on.
But it wasn’t the makeup, the sundress or the fun haircut. It was just me, exhausted from a nonstop day, in an old sweatshirt and leggings, sitting on your balcony until 2 AM just talking about life. To you, I was beautiful both inside and out.
I remember watching the sunrise on the way to the airport. You were by my side and I was trying to play it cool. It was a moment of clarity. My skies had only been grey for so long and then you showed up and suddenly there was a bright burst of all my favorite colors. The blend of pink and orange, the blue that matched your eyes. That morning felt like the first day the sky had ever changed color.
I boarded my flight back home, hiding the feelings I had for you from everyone else. But I knew that just like that beautiful sunrise on the first day of fall, the next chapter of my life would be the start of something new. I took the window seat and stared out my window, thinking about the sky and the next time I could see you.
