I often think about mental health during this stay at home pandemic. Should I be writing my next book? Am I spending enough time with my kids? How am I balancing my work/home life when my setup is in my bedroom?
I’ll admit that there are days that I cry and stay in bed a little too long. I can be a crappy parent and let my kids just watch a little too much TV sometimes. Then I have days that I feel like a super mom/employee/wife. I’ve developed new hobbies like cross stitch and have expanded on my love of cooking and baking. I even created an Instagram account if you want to see what I’m doing in the kitchen. I’ve tried discovering ways to be creative by writing, taking pictures and trying to make every day things we used to take advantage of into something we can do at home.
A tough spot in this pandemic is not being sure when I would be able to see my husband. After a month of not seeing each other we decided since we’ve been safe and smart, we could finally plan a long weekend together. Being the most extra, I decided to go all out and plan a special date night at home with dinner and a movie. I found active yeast after three weeks of searching and ordered the supplies I needed to make one of his favorite meals and “concessions” for the movie night I had planned. I took Friday off and spent my afternoon baking garlic knots from scratch, cooking lasagna and baking mini pies in my mini dutch ovens. I set up a concession stand and we threw a movie up on the wall. It was perfect and special and it boosted my mood.
On Saturday afternoon I sat by the kitchen window watching my husband cut the overgrown back yard in between unloading the dishwasher and reloading the dishes from the night before. I scrolled through Twitter and saw an article from a woman about why we should stop baking bread. It was offensive to her, a self proclaimed poor woman that only uses organic flour to bake bread for her family, that she couldn’t find organic flour. Now she is “competing with a bunch of dilettante bakers who care nothing for anyone but themselves.” Just people hoping for Instagram likes and taking bread from the mouths of babies.
As a baker, I was annoyed. Do I bake bread weekly? No. Am I taking food from children because I got one of the two jars of yeast on the shelf so I could try something new for a special night? No. I’m baking because it makes me happy. I’m baking because my husband deserved a super special dinner and date night after feeling defeated for a month. Did I post a picture on my Instagram because I was proud? Hell yes. Everything I made was delicious and my husband was beaming as he tried everything. So sorry, Caren, but I’m going to keep baking bread if it makes me happy.
If we aren’t doing things (safely) that make us happy then what is the point? And no, not just during this pandemic. If we are trying to tear people down over things we all do to make us happy, what are we gaining from this? I know I preach the whole be nice to each other thing but I mean it. Don’t be a dick to someone over something that brings even just a small amount of peace during this time. We won’t get through this is we are divisive to our friends, family and strangers. We’re all going through this differently, suffering and thriving differently. Don’t berate someone just because you didn’t get your organic flour because you never know if someone needed it more.
Continue baking, sleeping, writing, or doing whatever you need to do to carry on. I’ll be around to support you no matter what.
