Most of us are on day 476487236 of shelter-in-place/quarantine and if we’re fortunate enough, working from home. Being stuck safe at home has had plenty of challenges and can get pretty boring and lonely at times. But during this time, I’ve been thinking a lot, about everything. What the world will look like once we’re able to go back out again? Will I even feel comfortable? The answer is a big no, at least not for a while. Will we all be sporting masks for months after? Will we finally pay our essential workers more? How will we treat all the fun luxuries in life like concerts, sporting events, plays and parades?
While I let my mind go in a million places, I’m always brought back down to earth in the form of anxiety. I try to distract myself as much as I can, but zoom happy hour and musicians doing small livestream concerts only pacify the sadness and anxiety for so long. My days are spent working all day with interruptions from kids that accidentally closed out zoom or need help emailing their teachers. Then I retreat downstairs to make dinner and entertain everyone until bedtime. It feels like the movie Groundhog Day. Sure, we go out and get some fresh air, but even then I have a lingering fear of coming in contact with a virus carrier. This entire thing has caused some serious trauma.
So what do we do to take care of ourselves mentally? How do we care for our children’s mental health?
I find that allowing my kids to stay up later, indulge in ice cream and whatever they pick for dinner helps. We spend a lot of time outside. When outside isn’t an option they’re building forts with every single pillow and blanket they can find or playing silly games on FaceTime with Billy. They know what is going on outside of our safe place, but I’m not letting that fear take over. This is their childhood, one of the first things they will really remember. Do I want that to be reflected upon years later as a time of sadness and trauma? No. I want them to remember that I kept them safe, let them be kids and indulged all their crazy ideas.
My mental health is a little harder to mitigate. I can dance around my kitchen, read, play Sims 4 until I get tired and watch shows with Billy via Netflix Party, but there is still so much missing. We all miss our friends and family. I miss sitting at a baseball diamond on a cold April evening watching my kids practice. I miss the freedom of walking around Target before getting carryout from my favorite Chinese place. I miss date nights and having a reason to put on a dress and makeup. (Especially since I bought two new spring dresses right before this happened.) I miss mindlessly walking around downtown Chicago and discovering new things, or the ability to buy cheap tickets on Stubhub when the mood strikes before jumping on the train to the Sox-35th stop. All of these things will return one day, but when? And what will be different? Because the Handmaid’s Tale vibe I get when I pick up my groceries is terrifying.
My ask for all of you is to be kind and stay inside. We all want to get out and resume our lives, even if it will be completely different when we do. Sure we’re bored or we all need haircuts, but people also want their friends and family to be safe and healthy instead of dying alone at a hospital. Be kind to everyone, be patient with your kids, coworkers, delivery workers and medical staff. Be kind and patient with everyone, and especially kind to yourself. If we’re going to see the other side of this we need to listen to the doctors and nurses that tell you to stay home. Quit going out for dumb things just because you’re bored. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay inside. The sooner we all listen, the sooner this might go away and I can take my kids to a baseball game again.