We’ve made it to 2020 — the year we vote Cadet Bone Spurs out of office! (If we can get it together that is…) It’s Impeachment Trial Eve and we’ve reached the SEVENTH Democratic Debate since last year. But don’t worry, there are three next month! However, this is the final debate before the Iowa caucuses and it’s about to get wild! Candidates are dropping like flies, with the exception of GOP candidate, Tulsi Gabbard. Marianne Williamson returned to her home planet and sadly, with Cory Booker dropping out as well, we no longer get First Lady Rosario Dawson. But with these drop outs and Andrew Yang not qualifying for this round, we’ve got a stage full of rich white people. Only two of the rich white people are women. And allegedly, women don’t win.
FYI – to qualify for this debate, candidates had to raise money from 225,000 unique donors and hit at least 5 percent in four different national polls or 7 percent in two polls from early voting states.
But hey, I can’t wait for this new Weezer album to drop. (Photo credit: New York Times)
So off we go to argue about Medicare for All for two hours! Because who cares about going to war via Twitter or Australia being on fire, right? I’ve got my popcorn and wine ready.
Joe Biden: Ah yes, President Obama referenced right away. Did you know they are besties? We should all drink when he invokes President Obama. Just kidding, we would all have liver failure after 20 minutes! Also, Joe was a fan of the Iraq War.
Line of the night: “My time is up. I know. And I’m not going to go over, like everybody else.” Joe is out here trying to drag the candidates.
Closing Statement Rating: C-
Pete “I have black friends” Buttigieg: I’m so tired of anecdotes. Please give a legit answer just once. LOL @ the rich kids going to community colleges. That’s not a thing. However, slow clap for the bone spurs comment. Mic drop, Mayor Pete.
Line of the night: “We are going to have to use federal funds to make sure that we are supporting those whose lives are inevitably made more difficult by climate change. Equity and environmental justice have to be at the core of our climate change plan.”
Closing Statement Rating: C
Amy Klobuchar: I like that this has been Amy vs. Pete. I also like that Amy is low-key the smartest person on the stage (unless she’s trying to remember the name of her “friend” Governor Kelly in Kansas). And the only one that knows the debate is in Iowa. AMY HAS A PLAN FOR MENTAL HEALTH COVERAGE. YES QUEEN. Because spoiler alert: therapy alone is expensive before adding medication and too many people are struggling.
Line of the night: “Every single person that I have beaten, my Republican opponents, have gotten out of politics for good. I think that sounds pretty good with the guy we have in the White House right now.”
Closing Statement Rating: B+
Bernie Sanders: CNN is really trying to see a Sanders/Warren Battle Royale tonight. Thank goodness they aren’t playing into it. Bernie just wants to talk about the climate.
Line of the night: “We need to fundamentally change the priorities in America.” (On universal childcare.)
Closing Statement Rating: A
Tom Steyer: I’m sorry but I like Tom Steyer’s plaid tie. Fight me. Sadly, he bought his way on the stage, bumped Kamala and he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to win this race. Also, he clearly didn’t take a debate class in high school or college and his staring directly into my soul thing is freaking me out.
Line of the night: “If you ask me if standing up for the American people, for the Constitution, for what’s right… if you think that isn’t worth it, then you don’t share the same idea of what America is about.”
Closing Statement Rating: C
Elizabeth Warren: I love when Liz fights sexism but also calls Bernie a friend. But focus on what actually matters — beating Trump. Amy & Liz saying “the President herself” gives me so much life. Love this journey for you, ladies.
Line of the night: “Climate change threatens every living thing on this planet, and the urgency of this moment cannot be overstated.” But also: “We took back the House because of women candidates and women voters.” *insert flame emoji*
Closing Statement Rating: A+ BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT UP PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES! (And race, violence against trans women and gun violence.)
Winner of the debate: Not Brianne or CNN for that matter. Please don’t let them moderate a debate again. Anyway, I think Elizabeth Warren had a great night and I’m proud of the ladies for being on fire tonight.