Time for another installment of something no one asked for. My hot takes on the Democratic debates! Can you believe we’re only down to 10 candidates that qualified for the debate?! This round is a little trickier to make it in since you have more hurdles to jump. Here are the requirements:
The polling threshold: A candidate must have hit 2 percent or more in at least four polls released between June 28 and August 28.
The donor threshold: A candidate must have received donations from 130,000 people. Also, they must have at least 400 donors each in at least 20 different states.
So while close, Tom Steyer, “democratic candidate” Tulsi Gabbard and Marianne Williamson haven’t qualified. Quite a few have dropped out of the race as well. John Hickenlooper, Seth Moulton, Kirsten Gillibrand and sadly, my political crush, Jay Inslee. Someone please give him a seat at the table so he can save the planet. Others are still in the race (for reasons unknown to me) but not debating. But this isn’t about them, I say, sobbing because I’m not being blessed with Jay Inslee on my screen. Tonight it’s about Elizabeth Warren, Julián Castro and eight others that are somewhat irrelevant to me. Who will dazzle and who will disappoint? And remember kids, no F bombs! Even if we’re pissed about mass shootings.
Joe Biden — Hey Joe, drop out. Everyone, even the crowd and the moderator had a chance to dunk on you. We get that you had that one black friend. *Yawn*
Best line of the night: Ha. You thought I had one? Nah.
Cory Booker — Not going to lie, I’ve been impressed with Cory’s answers this evening. He constantly invokes Newark but otherwise, he’s kept his cool and answered questions.
Best line of the night: “No. Actually, I want to translate that in Spanish. No.” (This was in reference to being asked if we should all go vegan to help the environment.) We don’t all have to be vegans and I can continue to eat all of the cheese! Thanks, Cory.
Pete Buttigieg — Oooooh, Pete is swearing. He was warned. “This is why Presidential debates have become unwatchable.” Pete, when you said that, I felt that. But… I have to put out this content that no one reads. I really like Pete a lot more than I already did and if you want a beautiful answer from him, find a video of his answer to the question about resilience. It was too long to put here but it was perfect.
Best line of the night: “Today, you can be old enough to serve and have been born after 9/11.” Yes. Stop this endless war.
Julián Castro — “Are you forgetting what you just said two minutes ago?!” Draaaagggg hiiimmm. Drag Joe. MVP! MVP! MVP! People might say he was petty tonight but I’m just seeing a candidate with a backbone.
Best line of the night: “I’m fulfilling the legacy of Barack Obama, and you’re not.”
Kamala Harris — Does anyone else hear Dionne from Clueless when she talks? No? Just me? Oh well. The moderator called her out for not using her power for good while she was a prosecutor and even though I kind of like Kamala, I clapped. No lie. We must continue holding all the candidates accountable for flip flopping.
Best line of the night: “Trump didn’t pull the trigger but he’s certainly been tweeting the ammunition.” But the second best was when she compared Trump to the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. “He reminds me of the guy in the Wizard of Oz, when you pull back the curtain and it’s a really small dude.”
Amy Klobuchar — Amy said “I read the bill” and she is not here for Bernie. I wish I liked her more but honestly, I just don’t get the appeal. Maybe if she actually got more opportunities to speak I’d get it though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Best line of the night: I’ve got nothing. Please exit Stage Left.
Beto O’Rourke — Shoutout to Beto for calling the President a White Supremacist. I’m glad he sat down with Pete and read that 1619 NYT piece. While I’m not always impressed with his answers, I empathize with him and enjoyed watching him. This has been one of his better nights. I just wish he’d try to run for Senate again.
Best line of the night: “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47. We’re not going to allow it to be used against our fellow Americans anymore.”
Bernie Sanders — Okay, the “I wrote the damn bill” line was cute the first time but it’s like fetch and we all know fetch isn’t going to happen. Also, please get a cough drop or something.
Best line of the night: Honestly, I was so distracted by his hoarse voice that I couldn’t understand what he was saying half the time.
Elizabeth Warren — I’m just going to try not to show my bias tonight. If you’ve read any of these recaps you know how I feel about her. Just know that she is the smartest person in the room.
Best line of the night: “I know what’s broken, I know how to fix it, and I’m going to lead the fight to get it done.”
Andrew Yang — Bro, we get it. You want to give everyone money and you keep finding ways to give more. But this 1k in democracy money is just funny to me. I’ll give you 1k to donate to something! You get money! And you get money! MONEY MONEY MONEY!
Best line of the night: I wish I had one but he only spoke for 8 minutes total in the first hour so… Thankfully this was inspiring — “My father grew up on a peanut farm in Asia with no floor. And now his son is running for president. That is the immigration story that we have to be able share with the American people.”
Bonus thoughts:
lol @ Rahm Emmanuel trying to stay relevant during the break.
ABC sucks at hosting debates.
Oh, and Jay Inslee should be on stage talking about climate change. Miss you, boo.
PLEASE BRING UP REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS.
Finally, this debate was super boring so I hope no one had to watch it and can depend on my ridiculous recaps.