July 30, 2019
I should state that I (thankfully) didn’t watch the White Sox/Mets game and (unfortunately) didn’t see Amir Garrett rush the Pirates bench with appearances by Yasiel Puig on his last night in a Reds uniform in real time. But hey, the debates had plenty of winners, losers and the death of former Congressman John Delaney. So here are my hot takes that I like to pretend someone asked for.
Steve Bullock — As a reminder, he is the Governor of Montana. I feel like that reminder is needed because like everyone watching the debate, I was live-tweeting. And everyone on Twitter had no idea why this random white dude was on stage.
Pete Buttigieg — Mayor Pete had quite a few good answers last night but one stuck out the most, and because of that, I was dazzled. He’s in my top 3 of debate winners.
Line of the night: “I was a junior when the Columbine shooting happened. Something is broken if it is even possible to have the same debate around the same solutions. We know what to do and it has not happened.” He gets it and if he’s not afraid to say it, I hope he’s not afraid to do something about it.
John Delaney — “I don’t know why anyone runs for President of the United States just to talk about what we can’t do and what we shouldn’t fight for.” – Elizabeth Warren, Queen of the United States of America
John Hickenlooper — Throw your hands up if you think he should drop out!
Amy Klobuchar — I don’t feel like Amy did a bad job but she also didn’t do anything to actually stand out.
Line of the night: “We come from a country of shared dreams. And I have had it with the racist attacks.”
Beto O’Rouke — Good on him for inviting high school football players that kneeled for the anthem. Like Amy, he tried but didn’t stand out. Maybe debates just aren’t his thing.
Tim Ryan — Everyone is up in arms because he didn’t place his hand over his heart during the anthem. He is a likeable guy but BOY DID HE GET SCHOOLED and I laughed. Then he decided his campaign slogan should be “You don’t have to yell” because why not. Here is the moment he became the laughing stock of the world:
Bernie: “Medicare for All will be BETTER than the contracts employees have with their employers.”
Tim Ryan: “You don’t know that, Bernie.”
Bernie: ”I do know. I wrote the damn bill.”
Bernie Sanders — Bernie was hyped up and yelling. Straight up mad. And I was living for it even though I can’t stand him. But he gave me my new line whenever someone questions my knowledge/skills. “I do know. I wrote the damn bill.”
Elizabeth Warren — Where do I begin with this lady? Aside from the moderators whole constantly cutting her off thing. My girl Liz dominated and I have some quotes to prove it (and please see above for the savage burn on John Delaney, RIP).
“We need to call out white supremacy for what it is: Domestic Terrorism.”
“I get it there is a lot at stake and people are scared. But we can’t choose a candidate we don’t believe in just because we are scared.”
Marianne Williamson — Yo, she might’ve improved since the last debate but this woman is an anti-vaxxer that wants everyone to flush anti-depressants down the drain and just think positive instead. Marianne truly believes that AIDS and cancer can be cured by prayer. She had some great answers, sure, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. Her line of the night: “We need to recognize that when it comes to the economic gap between blacks and whites in America, it does come from a great injustice that has never been dealt with.”
Winner: Elizabeth Warren
July 31, 2019
Holy protesters, Batman! This is going to be a wild ride. Oh, and I’m putting off watching the newest episode of The Handmaid’s Tale so I swear if anyone spoils it for me… Speaking of the handmaids, when are we going to talk about reproductive rights? Or LGBTQ rights? Will Jake Tapper be petty again?
Update: THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT WOMEN!
Michael Bennet — Sorry, I fell asleep. “Equal is not equal.” Hell yes, I’m up now.
Joe Biden — “Go easy on me, kid.” LOL NOOOO. Kamala is going to school you in Round 2. Joe can’t even get words out without stumbling because he’s so scared. Seriously though, everyone is dunking on him.
Line of the night: “Everyone’s talking about how terrible I am on these issues.”
Me when I see Uncle Joe drop out of the race.
Cory Booker — Cory is not here for Republican talking points and I support him calling it out. But did anyone see his creepy video with Rosario Dawson where he sings? I can’t.
Line of the night (aside from him saying shithole): “Mr. Vice President, you can’t have it both ways. You invoke President Obama more than anyone in this campaign. You can’t just do it when it’s convenient.”
Second best: “You’re dipping in my kool-aid and you don’t even know the flavor.”
Julián Castro — Julian is the underdog that I really like. “One of us has learned lessons from the past and one of us has not.” Joe Biden needs to be checked for third degree burns. Please give me a Warren/Castro or Castro/Warren ticket. I will canvas, donate and do whatever I can for the two of you.
Line of the night: “First of all, the president IS a racist.” Or maybe using the term Moscow Mitch.
Bill de Blasio — #FirePantaleo chants — the officer that killed Eric Garner that is STILL on NYPD payroll. This is off to a good start. Bill has some halfway decent points but you know what, he’s just not likable. Yes, I said it.
Tulsi Gabbard — This woman is a Republican.
Kirsten Gillibrand — I just want to go out drinking with her. Do you think she’ll judge me when I order amaretto sours all night? People make fun of her for bringing up being a mom but I like it. I can relate to this candidate. Thank you for reminding white women everywhere to stop being complicit and recognize their privilege and DO SOMETHING about racism. Can I get a Gillibrand/Inslee ticket? Here for it.
Line of the night: “It’s his whiteness that protects him from being shot.”
Also: “The first thing I’m going to do as president is Clorox the Oval Office.”
Kamala Harris — Kamala is out here calling Uncle Joe out and reminding people that they didn’t do the reading assignment again. Girl is out for blood tonight and it is low key giving me life.
Jay Inslee — FINALLY! Someone that brings up mental health care and the importance of making sure plans cover it. It would be way cool if it wasn’t $74 a session for therapy after insurance.
“We can no longer allow a white nationalist to be in the White House.” YASSSSSSSSS KING! Jay also talked about his privilege about never being a black kid getting stopped by the cops and how white people need to stand up to the injustices, and finally brought up women and LGBTQ.
Line of the night: “The time is up and our house is on fire. Get off coal. Save the country and the planet.”
Andrew Yang — “The opposite of Donald Trump is an asian man that likes math and wants to give you $1000 a month.” Okay, I like you. “Immigrants are being scapegoated for things they have nothing to do with in our economy.” Wow, I like you even more. “We cannot tear each other down, we need to focus on beating Donald Trump.” <3 <3 <3
Winner: Jay Inslee’s glasses
Not Featured/In Memoriam
Mike Gravel, Wayne Messam, Seth Moulton, Joe Sestak, Tom Steyer