*TRIGGER WARNING – DOMESTIC VIOLENCE*
I’ve been staring at a blank blog post for two days now. I’ve used this to talk about a lot of sensitive topics that have been painful to write about. A lot of the trauma I’ve lived through and the thoughts that run through my head deemed worthy of talking about. So why is this one so hard to write?
This stems from my favorite baseball team and the poor decision to keep a certain player on their team. This choice has alienated fans such as myself, fans that have lived through domestic violence. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical or emotional. Abuse is abuse.
Melisa Reidy has spoken out against her husband Addison Russell and the physical and emotional abuse he has caused. In a horrifying article she mentions an evening after a girls night with her friends that he gets angry, chases her, and blames her for his actions after he slams her into the concrete. This is not the first mention of his actions either. Melisa talks about how it was so hard because he would always so sorry. He loved her. But abuse is not love and never will be.
“The first time I was physically mistreated by my spouse, I was in shock,” Reidy-Russell wrote. “I couldn’t wrap my head around what just happened. … Why did he get so angry? What did I do for him to want to put his hands on me?
“Of course I forgave him & assumed it would never happen again. I just thought he had let his emotions get the best of him, he loves me and he’s sorry. I was deeply hurt that he could even be capable of this behavior towards me, I couldn’t understand how the man I was so in love with, the FATHER of my child, the man I married just a few months ago could show such aggression towards me.” (Melisa Reidy, quoted from the Chicago Tribune article.)
Another woman has accused him of being an absent father and once gave her $600 in quarters and ones for child support. Addison Russell, worth millions for his subpar baseball playing, paid the woman he cheated on his now wife $600 in change for child support.
Melisa’s comment really hit home for me. I’ve endured so much emotional abuse. As a child, I watched my mom’s ex-husband abuse her. As an adult, I’ve been objectified by men that claim they love me but then yell at me and call me every name in the book. But I will never forget the day I got hit. A fight in the car on the way to a family event. I was “running my mouth” about a girl I thought my boyfriend was seeing behind my back. “Shut the **** up, Chrystal. I’m done with this conversation.” I said no and cried. I got slapped in the face for crying. This was the start of being shoved around and ended with “Just leave then, just quit. No one will believe you, everyone loves me.” After that a coffee mug was hurled near my face. I picked up my things and left. The next day my phone was buzzing every few minutes. I eventually turned it off and hid in the bathroom at work to cry. He was sorry. It won’t ever happen again. He didn’t mean what he said because I’m not a bitch, or ugly or worthless. I wish I could say that was the last time I saw him again but it was not.
Abuse is a nasty cycle. You lose yourself to someone that belittles you so much that you actually start believing the lies.
Later on in my life I would be in a situation that put me on the stand as a witness in a murder trial. I was not there when the crime happened, but I could be there to talk about the person on trial and his behavior. All the weird things that happened in 2007. The parties, the lies, the cover-up. Yes, actual cover-up with primer and paint. A young woman tragically lost her life to the hands of her abuser and I unknowingly painted over smoke damage in the basement of a house I was staying at part-time with my boyfriend. The place she took her last breath. I helped put him away for life. I was terrified. I couldn’t look him in the eye and spent the entire time on the stand shaking and trying to focus on what the woman questioning me was asking. I still keep in contact with her friends and family and do a 5k every year in her honor. But that day in court will stick with me forever. The days leading up to the verdict after my subpoena was over will stay fresh on my mind. Listening to that coward speak, watching her family cry because she’s gone. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. Please read about her here. You can also help raise awareness by giving to the Domestic Violence Network. Something so dear to my heart that I asked for donations to be made there in lieu of wedding gifts. A place that I proudly donated to every time Aroldis Chapman hit a home run. (Another abuser I boycotted for the few months he played for the Cubs.)
This has been painful to write and relive. It will continue to be painful as I watch my baseball team (that I’ve been loyal to since I learned how to walk) continue to employ Addison Russell. I hope he knows I will continue to boo him at every plate appearance. But I will also donate to DVN if hits a home run and I will continue to let my thoughts be known to raise awareness.
No one deserves to be a victim and I will not stay silent on this.