I don’t think my views on the importance of elections would come as a surprise to anyone. As soon as I turned 18 my grandpa reminded me to register to vote. I voted for the first time in a midterm election. I can’t remember anything about the ballot, only that I was young and wasted my vote on a write-in for Hello Kitty. The first time I voted for a President was in 2008. Proudly voted for Barack Obama thanks to listening to my known-Democrat grandparents and not my right-wing boyfriend.
I was never allowed to skip a year after that. My polling place was the same location that my grandparents voted. I would often get a call from my grandma asking if I needed a ride to the polls, even after I started driving. If they didn’t see me first thing in the morning, I’d get another call from Mamaw asking if I voted yet and how the line was while they were there. They taught me a lot about local races and voting.
My (unusual) favorite childhood memories happen to be volunteering at the precinct with them. Not only did I get out of school but I got extra credit. That’s a big deal (even if my social studies grade didn’t need any improvement). I would spend the night with my grandparents on Election Day Eve and wake up at 4:30 in the morning to get ready. Upon arrival my grandpa would go over the rules just in case I forgot as we ate donuts and sipped on orange juice. My job was to stand outside in the cold weather and pass out flyers for people on the ballot. Usually John Day, a friend of Poppy’s. His green and white yard signs graced my grandparent’s yard every election season after a quick drop-in to chat. I was usually there when he would stop by so we were on a first name basis. He was always so kind when stopping by the precinct and thanked me for passing out his flyers. Lunchtime would finally arrive so I would come to wipe my runny nose and warm up by the space heater before eating whatever was brought in for us. Usually McDonalds or sandwiches. I’d watch Poppy talk to every person that came in as if they were lifelong friends before heading back outside in the cold. I called it quits usually around 3:30 and would sit quietly and watch all the volunteers check voters in until it was time to close. Then quietly sprawl out over Mamaw’s lap, clearly annoyed and ready to leave. Looking back, it was so much fun. Meeting influential people like the late Julia Carson was always a highlight.
As I got older, I voted just because. I didn’t pay as much attention as I should, only voting straight ticket. I got a little more aware after kids, but not as awake as I needed to be. One year I took Hayden to vote (for the 2012 election) and he loudly announced to everyone that I again voted for Obama. Then 2016 happened. I was actively writing again and had turned into quite the activist. I paid attention to everything. Every word. Every single person in the primaries. I had ugly political talks with my friends, coworkers, family, and really anyone that would listen. I might’ve even swayed a voter or two in the general election. The person I voted for didn’t win. I was crushed. But more than crushed, I was scared.
The weekend before the Presidental election was spent in Chicago celebrating the Cubs World Series win and Billy’s book launch. A timely book about how crazy people get about politics, and how we should love them anyway. We laughed and celebrated while ignoring the actual politics that were coming up. I had every intention of posting the book all over social media and celebrating next week. There was no celebrating that next week. There was stress-eating, sadness, fear, and anger. I stayed away from social media. I wrote some angry blog posts that I mostly scrapped. But then I realized something. I could stay angry and do nothing or I could take care of myself that night, wake up tomorrow and do something. I chose to take care of myself that night and face the next day with confidence and hope. I can change the world with my voice.
I’ve practiced self-care since that day. If I got really angry I could always just write it out. I stayed off social media and only stepped into arguments that were worth my time. I stopped living in fear and started living like I could do something about the future. Tonight will be spent snacking on these delicious Canadian chips while watching videos of polar bears that Billy sent me after I mentioned that Joe Donnelly might not win in Indiana. Or maybe reading a book in my bathtub. But not that Woodward book because that just stresses me out. I’ll focus on getting my kids to bed, petting my dog and eventually just going to bed. I can think about things tomorrow after a night of sleep. If needed, I can spend more time changing the world tomorrow. But not tonight. Tonight is about self-care. The resistance is tough and so am I thanks to some much-needed peace and quiet on this stressful night.
