I’ve recently spent a lot of time on Pinterest finding things to do in Toronto and sample ceremony scripts. Once you search for anything wedding related you’ll see suggested pins and things that fit that algorithm. A lot of dresses I don’t need because I bought mine in February of 2016 before I even had a ring. And a lot of table decor and bridesmaid dresses that I don’t care about.
But in that ridiculous algorithm are also sweet quotes about love, soulmates, and some funny vows. I like to pause and smile after reading them. Some are incredibly fitting. I occasionally save some on my phone and send them off to Billy.
I saved the final edit of my vows and started reading them to myself. I got excited at that moment. I’ll be reading them again in a month and meaning every word I say. I started thinking about the promises I plan to keep and what it really means to love someone and really feel connected to your soulmate. Like that quote from Wuthering Heights about souls being the same.
But what is a soulmate? How can I one day explain this idea to my kids?
A soulmate is someone that sometimes tells you what you don’t want to hear but they know you need to hear it. And they’re fine with you being annoyed for a while because they did what needed to be done and saved you from a nervous breakdown.
Someone that tells you all about their baseball team even though you disagree on teams but find yourself still caring and happy to see that they are excited. Or show some kind of empathy when the pitcher you just spent a fortune on is out for the rest of the season.
A soulmate is someone that makes sure you take care of yourself by going to bed at a decent hour even though you just want to stay up and talk all night. And brings you water before bed in a robot cup with a heart.
Someone that rubs your sore back and asks how your day was. But actively listens. And can feel your pain when you had a bad day.
A soulmate is someone that enjoys your company no matter what. Accepting of quiet evenings on the couch, enjoying silence and the occasional hand holding. Or the nights we stumble upon a ridiculous baking show and belly laughs ensue. But also the nights out with our friends in a loud bar, sometimes making that “are you ready to go home” face. And especially the nights we go out to play arcade games and trash talk each other the entire time. (I’m coming for that belt, boo.)
Someone that is comfortable taking you to the cemetery so you can have a moment with the people you miss because their birthdays are coming up. Then let you cry a little (or a lot).
A soulmate is someone that loves you for everything you are and doesn’t judge you for what you aren’t. Content with you being your crazy self, running around a wedding in a dinosaur mask. Singing and dancing to Disney songs in the living room to keep your kids happy. Accepting you, flaws and all.
That is love. That is a small list of what a soulmate is to me.
