Does anyone else wake up every morning in a cold sweat?
I recently had to turn off my news updates that come to my phone. I was starting my mornings with headlines about botched Yemen raids, travel bans, the “failing” New York Times and other reputable news sources sending out “fake news” because our president is sensitive to the way he is being covered. I was starting to have symptoms associated with PTSD.
I check Facebook, Twitter, and my email like most people do every day. I had to stop opening the Skimm because I found myself not wanting to read anything anymore. I make the mistake of reading the comment sections on NBC Nightly News. I see what others like, what others comment on and read what they are fighting about. It rattles me to the core. This isn’t just one sided. This is both sides of the table. I’ve had to remove the Facebook and Twitter app from my phone, at least for a little while.
I say that, but I also can’t come up with any reasons why anyone thought voting for Trump was a good idea. Was it only to spite Hillary? I know she wasn’t the most ideal candidate. I will admit that even though I was proud to vote for her, I was openly pulling for Bernie from day one.
But today I feel defeated, more than usual. Maybe it’s the stress of having a full-time job, raising two kids, trying to maintain a social life, a long distance relationship, budget, and treating my mental health. I feel like my activism isn’t enough but I also feel powerless. Sometimes I want to give up because I feel like we’re all doomed, no matter what.
I cried in my car yesterday as I read the verdict on Betsy DeVos. I’m legitimately terrified for children everywhere. I’m terrified for teachers everywhere. And who was the deciding factor? Michael Richard Pence. The same man who removed Glenda Ritz, Indiana’s only hope for better education, right from the chair of the state Board of Education.
Last night I cried after reading about Elizabeth Warren. I know, rules are rules. But to censor the words from Coretta Scott King during Black History Month all because they don’t want anyone to think the pick for Attorney General is a racist? What? We just took 10 steps back. But what did I expect? Mike Pence tweeted out about celebrating a white guy on the first day of Black History Month. Well played, VP. Because this month is only about Abe Lincoln. Not to mention, our president probably doesn’t even know who Frederick Douglass is.
I will say, though, Mitch McConnell gave us one hell of a new battle cry for feminists everywhere. “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.”
Be right back, I need to get that tattooed, or maybe on my urn or something.
Every part of me wants to give up the fight. But I can’t. We can’t. This is all too important to just do nothing at all. We are being lied to every single day by our thin-skinned dictator and his racist, grossly underqualified team. I’m sorry, did I let that slip?
So again, I’m here to keep fighting. Like Elizabeth Warren said – “We can whimper, we can whine, or we can fight back. Me, I’m here to fight back.”
I’m taking the next few days off to detox from social media and the hundreds of articles being shared. It’s exhausting. Part of staying with the fight is taking care of yourself. I would like to enjoy my time with my kids and celebrate my boyfriend this weekend without feeling defeated. I encourage others to do the same. Have a real conversation about something pleasant for a while. Pet a dog. Stop arguing about politics on Facebook and attend a meeting instead. Or the science march, a refugee march, a teachers march. Anything to learn what others are actually fighting for. I will even let you read my boyfriend’s book while enjoying a coffee, lunch, whatever. Just be better people and continue fighting the good fight.
Peace and love.