Last week I did something brave. Something that I had no experience with and never thought I would ever have to do. I introduced my boyfriend to my kids.
And what happened? It went even better than I could have ever imagined. It all felt natural. It felt right. We all had the most amazing weekend together. I cried a little when he left because they loved him so much. No one wanted him to leave. He made it home and thanked me for letting him in and said it was a first of lots of special times for the four of us. Reading that made the tears flow even more.
Ideally, no one gets divorced. You should find that special person, get married, start a family and live happily ever after. That didn’t happen to me so now my kids live with just me most of the week. Their dad has always been present in their lives but never outstanding. Everyone I know can vouch for that. They’ve had plenty of role models, great uncles, cousins, a wonderful great-grandpa. They have never been missing a male role model in their life. There will always be someone around to help them with sports, homework, anything they might need. But it was a huge relief to see someone care for two small children that don’t belong to him. He didn’t have to interact with my kids. He could have said no, he could have not been involved in their lives. But he chose to.
Something kids need the most is seeing someone truly love their mom. Kids need stability. They need to see a real partnership between their parents. While he will never be their father, maybe not even be a “step dad”, he will still be there and he will still show them love. He offered help with dishes and thanked me more over the weekend than their dad ever did. He always told the kids that their mom is great, how she is a good cook and baker. It was sweet. He taught them respect by showing me love and respect. He listened to them, even spoiled them a bit. He played everything from soccer to tea party. He wrote out math problems and helped my 5 year old. He was amazing.
I’m so grateful for him. There is no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my days with him and no doubt that I chose the best person in the world to be around my kids. I think it’s safe to say that I found the most perfect person to join me on my journey. He’s so great, I’m so lucky.