I should be sleeping.
Instead of sleeping I’m up thinking about the weekend. It was finally warm enough to go out and have some fun. The sun was out, the weather was perfect, everything was beautiful. I laughed so hard that I should check for stomach muscles. There were no real plans or timelines, just impromptu adventures. A gorgeous park, a very handsome guy to look at, delicious ice cream and cute dogs, crazy trips to see someone perform an hour later, and silliness at a 24 hour pancake house.
I felt so alive this weekend. The last (close to 7) months have been the best the best few months ever. I’ve realized that I deserve love and happiness. I deserve to look at someone and just smile, knowing he is just as happy as I am. I deserve to be told I’m beautiful and I should actually believe it. I certainly feel beautiful these days. Maybe it’s the smile that won’t go away. I deserve to go out and have a blast doing whatever.
I never thought I would get my fairytale. But this relationship is just that. I feel like myself again. I can be silly and weird. I have fun making pictures with chalk and playing catch. I can wake up next to someone and be blown away by his gorgeous eyes. (Never fails) I understand happiness.
I have so much life left to live. I hope the rest of it can be spent waking up next to him. I hope I can see the morning light highlight his face. I hope I can hear him tell me I’m beautiful as he brushes the hair away from my eyes. I hope he will always be around to let me grab his arm and walk down the street. There is no one else I would rather get caught in a cold rainstorm with. Or sit and watch sports with. Even talk trash to. I know it won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, but I also know I can just look at him and remember all the reasons I fell in love.
I’m so thankful for the forces that brought us together and all this love and sunshine in my heart.