Today was my first thanksgiving alone.
I had a lot of anxiety going in. I always miss my kids the second they leave, so I wondered how that would affect me. My mom invited me over, and reminded me throughout the day. But I stayed home. I needed to be alone today. I needed to understand that this will be the new normal. I’m going to have to understand that I will be alone on thanksgiving now. And I will be alone on Christmas Eve.
It was tough. I kept myself busy the entire day. I tried to not bother anyone with texts. I stayed inside, put my Spotify playlist on, and worked on cleaning my house. Cleaning everything out, getting rid of things I was holding onto for no good reason. You could say I took all my emotional baggage and left it for heavy trash pick up. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I redecorated my bedroom a little, attempted to clean my basement, and got rid of a lot of things.
I know I still have some emotional chores I need to complete. I’m stuck in this rut where I feel like everyone is disappointed in the choices I’ve made. So I’ve been weeding people out of my life. I don’t need any toxicity in my life. I’m doing everything I can to be the person I want to be. I’m working towards my dreams and the goals I have in place. I’m feeling more independent and happy. Things are on the upswing, so I don’t need anyone bringing me down again.
My goal is to be 100% happy by 30. I think I can do that in a year and a half. I have a nice support system in place. I have a lot of reasons to smile. My life is almost to where I want it.
Soon I will be unstoppable.